I’ve always said that I was the Best Man
I caught up with a friend who is MC’ing a mate’s wedding next weekend so that we could work on our speeches and ensure that there will be no overlap.
This is how I’m introduced
With a friendship that dates back 18 yrs for Bruce and 11 years for Mel, there are few more people better qualified to be standing in front of us then our next speaker. Together they have terrorised members of the military and civilian population across Australia for years. At the tender age of 20 and 17, they joined the Army on the same day, later they lived at the same Officers Mess at Gallipoli Barracks and finally they shared some of the most disturbing share houses in Sydney and Brisbane. From major cities through to small towns, he has been on the Most Wanted List of all fathers of young daughters.
And now ladies and gentlemen, for a man that knows very much about many things, but very little about commitment, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, our Best Man, one of Bruce’s best mates, Michael McM to propose the toast to the Bride and Groom.
No fucking respect! The dig about commitment is especially piquant, as the MC is my ex-girlfriend from a few years ago. Naturally, I cheated on her. And got caught. Several times. Should be a fun wedding!
Lermontov
that is brilliant!!!!
Giggle and when have you done anything to earn respect honey
bahaha - I want to shake that girls hand!
Comment by fakebrunette — January 9, 2010 @ 3:20 am
BAHAHAHAHA - nice. And well-told, too
Comment by lunamor — January 9, 2010 @ 4:31 am
I like the part about the “Most Wanted” list.
Comment by evilfury — January 9, 2010 @ 4:37 am
You should bring a fake fiance and say, “actually when you find someone worth committing too, it’s not that hard to learn.”
Then follow up with “That is why I am sure these two will have a long and happy marriage”
Makes you look good to everyone and slams the ex at the same time.
Comment by easysleeper — January 9, 2010 @ 4:42 am
just saying happy 2010 Lermie. praying for you. lol. Nah, I kinda like the perversity. It’s your charm.
Comment by tamale — January 9, 2010 @ 7:59 am
I bet you are a great person to have at a party.
Comment by justfly — January 9, 2010 @ 12:05 pm
Res - Yeah, she is a funny lady and will do a great job as MC
Luna - it made me laugh too!
EF - it’ll make it hard to chase the bridesmaids though
ES - I hope you don’t mind if I steal that!
Tamale - and to you too. I hope it is a great one for you
JF - I like to think so - plenty of others would no doubt disagree!
Comment by lermontovwithacapitall — January 9, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
Just remember it’s toast not roast!
Good luck, I reckon you will have the grannies and the aunties in the audience swooning.
Comment by nautilus — January 11, 2010 @ 9:55 pm
Perhaps it will be easier to chase down single (and not-so-single) women at the wedding? She’s essentially given you an award for most experience and drunken bridesmaids are hardly discerning.
Best wishes for a happy new year!
Comment by Alianna — January 12, 2010 @ 2:05 am
The bridesmaids will likely be eating out of your hand…or something close to that.
Comment by doanli — January 12, 2010 @ 4:09 am
Thanks Tony! I’ll swerve on the grannies for the moment!
Alianna - happy New Year to you too. I hope it is a great one for my favourite Canuck. It’ll be a quiet one I’m afraid - I have to fly across the continent to Perth the following morning - ugh!
D - we’ll see!
Comment by lermontovwithacapitall — January 12, 2010 @ 1:06 pm
Good luck mate, can’t be worse than the last time I was best man, old mate was marrying the ex-president of the Young Nationals, an obnoxious little heifer. Told you this story before but the father of the bride was an utter cock (she was her father’s daughter). His speech followed mine. He basically said he’d never liked my mate, couldn’t see what she saw in him, had said the same thing at the engagement party, but since she was marrying my mate, the family would have to learn to put up with him.
They’re not married any more. Separated 6 months ago. My mate’s new girlfriend has dating him for 9 months. Call me an old romantic, but I like the fact that while he was getting screwed in the relationship - he was still getting screwed out of it. (His missus had cut the supply off to win an argument, of course.)
Comment by Dr Yobbo — January 13, 2010 @ 5:52 pm
Hahahaha! Nothing like that tonight, I hope!
Good work on him pulling down the supplies to work through the supply being cut-off!
Comment by lermontovwithacapitall — January 16, 2010 @ 1:32 am